Kill Them with Kindness

I’m sure I’m not the only person out there who has one or two people in their lives that makes them feel like a thirteen year old all over again: petty, immature and insecure.  No matter how much you try to befriend them, get to know them better as individuals or show them that you are someone worthy of love, you always find that you’ve been rejected.  Time and time again, I have been rejected by a few people in my life that I just don’t understand why.  Maybe they are not happy with what I have to offer and they expect more or something different, but this is me.  If you have not found a way to love me as I am, with all my imperfections and misplaced good intentions, then I guess it’s just not going to work out between us.  But I will keep trying because I’m foolish and believe that if I’m nice to you, one day you will return the favor.

Then there are the people in our lives who we’ve had a minor conflict with that, for some silly reason, has never been resolved.  We don’t hold a grudge and are not even upset about what happened, but too much time has gone by without reconciliation and the friendship has just sort of vanished. 

You might be that person that receives one of my cards and questions why.  Maybe you will think you are one of the people this post is talking about.  Quite possibly.  All the same, I think it’s important that you recognize that you did something I am grateful for; perhaps many things.  You may not care for me as an individual and you may prefer that I was not in your life.  I may have done something to personally offend you.  If so, for that I am sorry.  I tend to offend more people than I realize.  Those nearest and dearest to me have – graciously – overlooked my offenses or are as oblivious as I am to them.  As it stands, our lives have crossed at one point or another and we are both forever changed by that.  Our paths may cross again in the future.   As long as you do not hurt me or mine, you are welcome to continue not liking me for all of eternity. (Personally, I would not want that cross to bear.)  My hope is that you may learn to accept me, and others that do not meet your expectations, as I am.

PS, thank you.

The Lenten Spirit Lives On

And my Thank You Project continues.

Since the end of Lent, I have taken a small break from writing thank yous, all the while continuing my list.  With the passing of my Aunt Patsy, a quick trip to Texas, spraining my knee for the second time in a month and some work drama, I’ve just needed a chance to veg out -- mentally at least.  Now, I am back at my project with renewed vigor.  Yes, vigor!

Over the past couple of months, I have done a lot of reflecting.  Times are hard for my family and I believe that to be the case for many of us.  Like most people, the cost of my food, gas, housing, utilities, etc. has risen while my work compensation has remained the same.  In my line of work, the only way to make more money is to work more hours, which is an expense in and of itself – increased gas and childcare costs, wear and tear on my car, and missed time with my family to name a few of the costs of working more hours.  To be honest, I just don’t feel that working a few 15 hour days a week is worth the extra cost, especially not when the cost for me to get to work has gone up about 20 to 40%. 

I have heard it said that during tough economic times, people turn more to their faith and their faith community.  That could be true.  Since gas and food costs are becoming out of reach, I find myself praying more for prudence in financial decisions.  Brad and I have a history of “keeping up with the Jones,” and I do not want that for our future.  When we graduated college, we were told we would have high paying jobs, we should buy a house, we could afford $50,000 to 75,000 more than we felt comfortable spending on a home because we had a “high earning potential” as recent college graduates, etc .  We bought into it all and now we’re trying to swim upstream in an effort to recover from the downfall of our decisions. [Mixed metaphors anyone? J] We are in a period of our lives together where we realize we need to rely more on each other and our family and have faith that these times are temporary.  We will reach a point when we can look back and see how we came together during rough times rather than falling down and apart.

Working on my Lenten resolution has also brought me closer to my faith. I have spent a considerable amount of time reviewing the positive experiences of my life and acknowledging the roles that others have played.  I am conditioning myself to see the good things in what people do for me and for others.  I have heard “if you can’t change the circumstance, change the perspective.”  This has been my mantra for years now.  Yes, TypeWell people, you can thank Judy for this. J For instance, I cannot change the circumstance that I have a financial need to work every day and be away from my children, but I can change my perspective on things.  I can be thankful that my kids are happy and being well taken care of by a family friend; I can be thankful that I have a job in a bad economy; I can be thankful that I have a “client” who has requested my services for almost three years now and has provided me consisted work.  I could go on.  I am an optimist at heart.  I believe there is good in everyone and (most if not) every situation.  This Lenten season, I was reminded of the inherent good in everyday interactions.